Halo
Meh. Overall, the book wasn't particularly hard to read (like The Lord of the Flies), but it wasn't really a fun/emotionally thrilling/action-filled/romantic/non-contradictory read. **warning: rant ahead**
**warning: spoiler alert**
*The following is concerning the novel in question*
First of all, my question is this: do Australians know how to properly punctuate a sentence with FANBOYS (coordinating conjunctions)? How about their editors?
I mean, if your parents are pretty into language arts, why aren't you...
For example (this I'm making up):
"I would really like to stick around but I'm busy today."
"Gabriel hates to see people suffer and he is full of mercy."
It's just awkward... I found this especially common in the dialogue. Yuck.
Also, there are soooo many contradictions— do Catholics even read the Bible? Gabriel may have hated to see people in distress, but I somehow doubt he felt that way about Zechariah.
Also, how is Ivy an angelic name? I mean... some creativity here...
Also, (for the third time) how is it that Gabriel and Ivy are Bethany's siblings, but Gabriel is brothers with all the other archangels, does that mean Gabriel, Ivy, Bethany, and all the other archangels are siblings?
Okay, so I get that Ivy and Gabriel are centuries old and have been to Earth many times before, blahblahblah— so why do they act all awkward when they're there and why is Bethany the most comfortable? Why do they have to get used to eating? Why does Gabriel, the vengeful warrior of light, enjoy cooking and playing piano? Why does Ivy always try to defuse situations, even if it isn't the right thing to do? And now for the killer— why aren't the angels immediately sent to Hell for lying? Lying is just as much of a sin as pride is. It doesn't matter if you're trying to save people from suffering, one lie will build into a web of lies and will destroy and hurt far more than the truth ever could.
Which a good Catholic should know... unless Catholics redeem their "small" sins with "greater" acts of good, like knitting sweaters and scarves for the needy.
By the way, why are the angels doing nothing anyways? They seem to try their best to avoid the people and be cold and rude, all the while hoping their "presence" will do something for everyone. What a way to lead by example. I mean, Ivy is doing stuff... but nothing she does is all that urgent. And we all know it's a super super urgent mission and they can only help this one town etc.
Wait a second... why doesn't Ivy help out at the E.R. if she's a healer? I think she might save some more lives that way.
Gabriel is a rather flat, static character. A super-hot angel, loves music, stoic warrior, never helps anyone, super proud archangel... what the heck? An angel that is so cool, he's better than Jesus? He never stops to smile and say hi, or humble himself to anyone else's level. Gabriel, in the mind of Alexandra Adornetto, should be sent to Hell. Also, what is all this crap about loving mercy and hating seeing everyone in distress?!? Gabriel causes distress, every time the typical sappy swooning ultra-special heroine Bethany sees him. By the way, in the Bible, Gabriel was more of the vengeful-type warrior. Like the Sodom-and-Gomorrah type. Not really the, "I love everyone! Let's sing a Barney song!" type. Although his actions do defy his words... what a Pharisee. And Gabriel, who has supposedly been to Earth so many times, acts like an alien. He doesn't interact, doesn't talk with anyone, and always stands out.
Ivy is not much better. She kind of makes you want to go retch somewhere. She is sweet and considerate, always caring, compassionate and kind to the widows and orphans. She has absolutely *no* backbone and always tries to defuse fights (why, oh why, oh Peacemaker). Ivy is kind of the glue that holds Gabriel and Bethany together... so I guess you could say Ivy is to Valentine and Gabriel is to Peter and Bethany is to— wait, Bethany's intelligence is only .00000000000001% of Ender's. Not to mention her logic, reason, compassion, charisma, leadership skills, etcetcetc. But back to Ivy. Ivy is more or less a suck-up (like one of the Jettan from The Glass Swallow). Also, how come she can't defend herself from leering high school seniors? I mean, she's an angel...
Bethany. Well... she falls in love with Xavier practically at first sight, disobeys commands from Heaven, is more human than her been-to-Earth-a-hundred-times siblings, is the most powerful because of love, extremely sappy, likes to swoon, beautiful and heavenly, extremely naïve. That's about all. Not to mention she is probably the worst kind of heroine, if she can even be called that. Compare her to Maximum Ride, for example. Maximum Ride is more realistic and at the same time not.
Maximum Ride
normal, regular looks
can kick butt
flies. 15 foot wingspan. 2% avian DNA.
sassy leader
experienced, world-weary, jaded
knows how to express herself
protects her flock
Bethany Church
glowing, beautiful, perfect hair/eyes/skin, makes you want to be anorexic
will always need to be rescued by Xavier or Gabriel
flies, but not in any practical way. I mean, paper-thin wings?
perpetually nice and is a sappy no-backbone follower
naïve, innocent, always confused
knows how to express herself
could use an expansion of vocabulary, and not in the flowery way
always needs to be rescued
You see, it just goes on and on to show that Patterson has created the heroine we all like— while Adornetto needs some post-modern adjustments.
Also, some parts of the book had some pretty weird writing. Like, flowery. And Victorian. Other parts were just awkward (the "MILF incident," talking with Maddie, jokes with Xavier). Everything was kind of trite and corny.
Oh, and what I was trying to say above was... the logic of reasoning follows:
Uber-urgent mission --> go to little town in the middle of nowhere
Must help people --> stay inside house
Our presence will make such a huge difference --> but we will be cold and rude to everyone we see
We are ANGELSSSSS --> we lie ten times a day, never help people out, because keeping our cover is more important
Satan is a fallen angel, and so are demons --> but lies are okay. Because good angels never get cast out of Heaven.
THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!!
There's a lot more I could rant about, but that was just the major character/structure flaws. Now to the book jacket/Goodreads description...
AHAHAHAHA. Let's take it apart bit by bit.
An angel is sent to Earth on a mission.
well, more like three angels.
But falling in love is not part of the plan.
Actually, it seemed to be at the end. God knows the future, after all. He planned it.
Three angels – Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human yup, the youngest (by centuries) and most human (strange, since she's never been the Earth before)– are sent by Heaven (nope, not God) to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness really? I could have sword you noticed before the flood. They work hard to conceal their luminous glow which only shows up once, strangely, superhuman powers but at one point in the book it says they're now human, which is weird. Like, what powers? Most like lack of make-up, and, most dangerous of all, their wings you totally forget they have wings., all the while avoiding all human attachments
Then Bethany meets Xavier Woods, and neither of them is able to resist the attraction between them. Can anyone say teenagers with hormones?
Gabriel and Ivy do everything in their power to intervene they kind of give up after a few pages, but the bond between Xavier and Bethany seems too strong.
The angel’s well, more like "angels'" mission is urgent which is why they do nothing the whole time, and dark forces are threatening. Will love ruin Bethany or save her?
Okay, the last sentence makes no sense. Love obviously saves her, as being attracted to Xavier serves to stop the attraction between her and the demon, which is the worse of two evils. So... what?
Yeah, that's about all. So, if I had read Twilight (which I haven't), I would probably call this Twilight with angels instead of vampires, and demons instead of werewolves. Meh.